Cultural, heritage and connecting with your teen

So the way parents can help the young person be able to connect with their cultural background is often a lot through relationships.

My parents often had lots of friends who became kind of surrogate aunties and uncles, which kind of allowed me to have that experience of an extended family here in Australia, and being able to be a part of a community meant that it was fun to go to places.

I had a big group of people that I could turn to if I had questions. And in these places, you are often encouraged to speak your local language. So being able to speak Marathi with a community felt like, it gave me a sense of belonging and it made me proud of where I came from.

I think it's never really too late to introduce a young person to the fun parts of the culture and things that they might be able to connect to.

[on-screen title] What can parents do when their teens are pulling away from their culture?

In your adolescent years, what's really important is being able to connect with your peers. Sometimes young people may choose to align themselves more with their dominant cultural group in their school, so it's hard to be able to navigate that.

I think it is really helpful if parents can enter the young person's world, keeping an open-minded view and asking open-ended questions.

Starting questions with 'how come?' or 'tell me about this' or 'what do you think about', is often more likely to allow the young person to open up, rather than questions that start with 'why', which seem a little bit intimidating.

Listening and agreeing are two very different things. So you may not be able to agree but it's really important to be able to have your say and to be heard.

[on-screen title] How can parents maintain cultural pride and wellbeing when experiencing racism?

When I'm talking to parents, I often ask them questions like, "How much fuel have you got left in your tank?" or, "What percentage of your battery's remaining?"

If your battery's flat or very, very low, it's unlikely you have the energy and the resources and the capacity needed to manage a very difficult situation, be it in the home or outside of the home.

There isn't one way to do it, but being able to recharge your battery
is the most critical thing. So for some people, that might be about belonging to a religious organisation.

For some people, it's about hiking and being in the mountains and being a part of something bigger. For some people, it's about giving back
and doing charity work.

So there's so many challenges that come your way as parents. It's okay sometimes for you to not feel like you're on top of it.

So being able to reach out, get the help and support that you need, is going to be important.