Chase: Hi, my name is Chase. I'm a healthcare professional and a youth mental health advocate. And I've also experienced loneliness in my life. 



So, I found that the end of year 12, that's when I   finally into a groove with it, where I found some good friends where we were hanging out after school, we're going to parties. So, eventually I found like by the end of year 12 that once we graduated, I lost that connection. We all went our own ways where I went to one uni, everyone else, they followed their own path. We kind of lost that bond that we only just formed. And you’re only just entering the adult world where there are so many different unknowns and so many things you're learning, so many things you're doing for the first time, and because it's such a vulnerable time. I think that's why I was under so much pressure to really fit in and really connect with other people my age.



 It felt like riding a bike without training wheels  for the first time again. Sometimes I would be in a room full of people, but I would still feel lonely, still feel like I was isolated. There would be people around me, but I couldn't really talk to them. I couldn't really, like, connect with them. So, it felt like it would be just no different than being in a different room to them. You see people, but you don't know how to talk to them and you don't know how to properly get along with them. 



At first I didn’t know it was loneliness, but very quickly I put two and two together. I would say more it was more the adults around me  really  speaking to me, saying they've noticed I was not being as social lately. So that's when I put two and two together and realised that I was lonely. 



But I started just talking to people more. So even things like sitting next to someone in class, just talking to them, saying, ‘Hey, what's your name?’ and just  starting the conversation. And first, it would be just solely about school work and that kind of thing, but then slowly it would become more  like, ‘What do you like doing on weekends?’ and ‘What are your hobbies?’.



 So I found at first that finding that one thing in common, so being in the same course, and then trying to find things that they have in common like outside school, finding these little things here and there that you can connect with, talk about, and really just go from there. 



I think a lot of people when they picture loneliness, they think of someone just sitting in the corner while everyone else is talking or sitting in groups. What I would argue, in my experience, sometimes you can be  part of a group but still feeling really lonely. So I think loneliness is tricky because it isn't always obvious and people don't always want to talk about it. Things can get better and do get better over time by putting in the effort, going out of your comfort zone and just slowly putting myself out there.