When we moved to Australia four years ago, we were cold, overwhelmed and missing home. Starting over is never easy. It felt like I was carrying the whole world on my shoulders. I was desperate to be useful in this country– to be seen, to belong. 

It wasn’t easy for my daughter Chloe to adjust to life here when she was 11 years old. Culture shock was a big part of it. 

From time to time, she would mention to me she felt scared, stressed or lonely. 

Then one day last year, I got a phone call from her school counsellor, who told me that Chloe had been experiencing thoughts of suicide. I was shocked. I’ve always tried to sympathise with her experience, but her challenges are so different to what I went through at her age. I felt like I was caught off guard. I asked myself, where was this coming from?

After I talked with her school counsellor, we made a plan to keep Chloe safe for the time being. 

Firstly, together we thought of all the people she could talk to if she’s feeling distressed.

If there’s no one she can talk to, we made a list of activities she can do to take her mind off things.

Secondly, Chloe told me she didn’t want professional help. But since she was in danger we agreed that it would be a good idea. To find someone she could relate to, we both chose a psychologist together online.

Thirdly, while she was feeling unsafe, I was careful to make sure Chloe didn't have access to things she might use to harm herself.

Chloe is in a much better space now. 

I think this is partly because now, Chloe and I communicate more clearly. I learned not to dismiss her feelings or opinions just because they don’t align with mine. I remind myself that what she feels is valid, even though it might sound strange to me. 

Now, when we spend time together, I try to ask lots of questions. I give her space to talk and try not to make judgments.

Even if she doesn’t want to talk, I tell her I’m here if she needs me.

Another thing I learned from this experience was to care for myself while supporting Chloe. Whenever I need to feel hopeful and in control, I look after my garden, where I’m always welcome.  

My plants have shown me that from little things, great things can grow.